News and Updates

Blog: Sonny Defarge (8.8.18)

Posted: August 08, 2018

To whom it may concern,

Mr. Crummels and myself made a clear declaration of intent from the moment we made our presence known in CHIKARA: be the most effective and prosperous legitimate businessmen to ever take part in professional wrestling. These intentions have never been altered and are more deliberate than ever. And yet, in spite of our unwavering dedication to our own success, the CHIKARMY, as well as members of the CHIKARA roster were surprised by our actions at Egg Monsters From Mars.

This, quite honestly, tickles me.

The fact that The Beast Warriors are taking our actions as personal attacks is even more humorous. We, as unbiased businessmen, share allegiance with none but our business partners. And some business partners simply have deeper pockets than others.

At this present moment The Beast Warriors, rather than reflecting on their present blessings, have chosen to reflect on past misfortunes. They now stand in the way of the future successes of Mr. Crummels and myself by opposing the two of us at Chikarasaurus Rex. In light of this Saturday's match, I must remind The Beast Warriors that the business in which we've invested ourselves, after all, is called: Professional Wrestling. It is not called "personal wrestling." To this end, no matter how big or strong they may be, the cunning, intelligence and wit of the Crummels and Defarge Business Empire™ will surely lead us to victory. They insist on taking our actions as a personal attack? Then we have no choice now but to deliver to them a very professional beating.

-SD
(Legitimate Businessman Extraordinaire)

Blog: Razerhawk (7.24.18)

Posted: July 24, 2018

I found out the same time you guys did.

Director of Fun Bryce Remsburg approved my request to fight Icarus at "Egg Monsters from Mars" right before I hit send on yet another e-mail to him. Then I was gonna send a DM. Then an IM. Then a text. I'd have paged him if he'd ever given me his beeper number. It's all I can think about.

There's still soot on the ceiling of the main hall on Level 1—remnants from the celebration I threw in honor of Danjerhawk winning the Young Lions Cup from Cameron Zagami a few weeks ago at "Clan Feuds." Danjer is fascinated by fire, and so I thought fireworks would be appropriate. (Note to self: Fireworks should always be set off outdoors.) Yes, there's still cleaning and maintenance to do around our Earth outpost; work that I'd normally have done by now. However, I've got a bit of an obsession at the moment.

Icarus...

We fought one-on-one over a year ago, and you beat me, fair and square. No distractions, no interference. You won. And ever since this most recent skirmish began, I've not been able to really get my talons on you. Danjer and I fought you and Travis at "Go Eat Worms!" and you managed to avoid most of my offense. When it was finally just you and me in the ring, face to face—just as I had you in my sights—Travis snatched that moment away. Then, at "Clan Feuds" you and I were in the ring together for 12 seconds—just enough time for you and Travis to double team me, while Bryce's back was turned.

You see, in these recent encounters, I've only ever gotten a small piece of you. A fragment. A portion. A sample. An iota. But that's not enough to satisfy me.

I don't want an iota, or a sample, or a portion, or a fragment—I don't want a PIECE!

I want ALL of what you will bring, and I will bring to you ALL of what I have to bring!

I want the WHOLE THING, ICARUS!

I want the guy who was Campeon de Parejas! I want the guy who won King of Trios! I want the guy who captured the Grand Championship!

I want the Worst in the World!

Maybe the upperclassmen are right—maybe I CAN'T beat you... but then again maybe I CAN... A lot has changed in the last year... I was a Young Lions Cup Champion. I helped end our feud with Hermit Crab and Cajun Crawdad. And when Sylverhawk was taken from us I became the leader of this galaxy's Xyberhawx2000 unit. It is said that with great power comes great responsibility. Well the reverse is also true. With great responsibility comes great power, and my responsibility this Saturday is to shut you up and shut you down.

This is for the good of the CHIKARA trainees, the good of the CHIKARA locker room, and the good of the CHIKARMY.

CawCaw!

Blog: Thief Ant (6.28.18)

Posted: June 28, 2018

CHIKARA represents so much, to so many. The same goes for The Colony. Green Ant and I have looked up to Fire Ant and the tunnels he’s dug through the history of CHIKARA. His triumphs have become the stuff of legend: the Young Lions Cup, Campeonatos de Parejas, Tag World Grand Prix, King of Trios ...Fire Ant has won them all. Green Ant and I hope to do the same. We hope to carry forward something that should not be laid to rest, not left to die.

I have felt first-hand Fire Ant's inability to deal with his grief, and even though I'd rather not feel his forearm in my face again, I do understand a bit of what he's going through. My suspicions were confirmed when I saw him embrace Worker Ant at Aniversario back in May. He's lost everything familiar to him, his brothers in arms, the CHIKARA he once knew. Friends and allies forced out. Old foes stepping into retirement. Everything around him just...changed and he felt powerless to stop all of it. All of that is trapped inside of him, and coming out in ways no one could have anticipated. These dark emotions seem to overtake him a little more day by day, and when we don't find a way to turn things around, when we don't call on the support we need, that downward spiral only quickens.

The painful losses in his past are preventing Fire Ant from seeing the future. Sometimes there is comfort in the past, it feels good to turn your back against the tides of change. But I'm certainly not alone in saying that reading Icarus' recent blog appealing to Fire Ant made my skin crawl. I've watched how Icarus has played favorites with, and just outright manipulated, guys like Tony Deppen and Travis Huckabee. I don’t know what goes on in Icarus' head, but I do know that whatever he's up to isn’t for the betterment of Fire Ant’s emotional state - it's about what best serves Icarus, and that alone.

Icarus has made his call to arms. Now, we must do the same, by reaching out to those who understand what is at stake. So...we need you, Worker Ant.

Green Ant and I need your help. We need for you to stand side by side with us. We know you’ve been putting in the work at the Wrestle Factory, but it’s now time to put the work in the ring. We must stop all of this this before it truly begins.

-TA