News and Updates

Blog: Fire Ant (8.19.16)

Posted: August 19, 2016

This Sunday, once again, I march into the Wrestle Factory, prepared for battle. I'll look across the ring and face an army of warriors loyal to Nazmaldun. I'll see former allies and familiar foes consumed by pure hatred. Their darkest traits cranked up to an unthinkable degree.

This army's goal will be simple: Extermination.

At that moment, when I'm staring into the darkness, I'll look to my left, and then to my right, and who will I see? I'm sure I'll see some familiar faces too.

I've fought many forces over the many years, doing what I can to defend CHIKARA. And the one thing I can always count on, is that my brothers will march right beside me. And this Sunday, even though I'm certain I will be marching with ants, that's all they will be. Just ants. Not my brothers. Not the Colony. Just a Lot of Ants.

I know all of you are reading this. I know Worker Ant recruited you. You need to know that I don't like this, and I don't trust you. But you must prove me wrong. Prove your worth. We don't have any other options.

-FA!

Blog: Hallowicked (8.18.16)

Posted: August 18, 2016

Like weeds in an untended garden, the ranks of Nazmaldun's force run unchecked and are now in position to begin choking the life out of those that remain standing against us. We never dreamed it would be so easy, that we would be unopposed in building the fighting force that now threatens to dominate CHIKARA. What was done to stop us? They set the Grand Champion Princess KimberLee against me and she was dethroned by my own hand. They tried teaming her with Hedi Lovelace, a woman she can hardly stand next to in the ring without coming to blows. They struggled to bolster her ranks with N_R_G, men who are little more than strangers to her. They rallied the simpleton Ice Creams to her cause in a misguided attempt to correct course. They thought strengthening her with ranks with members of The Colony would finally stall us...and yet here we stand.

The weakness of their efforts have reaped the rotten fruits they sowed. We have grown powerful and terrible in the face of your ignorance. Each man Nazmaldun has bid I claim for his own, is one that I know well. Men I have fought with and ones I have raged against. The spear Frightmare is as unflinching in his dedication to our master as I am. The morning star Icarus has surpassed even my expectations for the joy he takes in savaging his opponents. The demonic twin scythes Kodama and Obariyon, and the poison-tipped bolt Kobald, have displayed an unequaled blood lust in the ring. Now at last we have the battering ram, Mark Angelosetti, in our grasp. With him we will smash through whatever defenses you mount, and burn to the ground all that you know and love. Yet still one piece of the arsenal remains unseen. Our secret weapon. One which no one could possibly account for and so will wreak utter havok when the hour is at hand.

Colony, this Sunday you seem dead set on being the next obstacle in our path. Do not bear the brunt of our horrible wrath with merely half of a team. Do not even attempt to find others foolish enough to stand with you. There is no one you can recruit that yet lives who can hope to stop us. If anyone reading this message harbors any notions of coming to the aid of the ants, be warned now - that this will be no wrestling match. It will be a slaughter. All Glory Nazmaldun.

-H

Blog: Tyler Bate (8.10.16)

Posted: August 10, 2016

Earlier this week, Trent Seven and myself were enjoying a freshly brewed cup of tea upon the mountain, and it was brought to our attention that on 21st August in Philadelphia, CHIKARA will be hosting themselves an event and Moustache Mountain just so happen to be free of duties on this very day. We also know that on this very day, that the disputed Campeonatos de Parejas will be determined in a bout between Los Ice Creams, N_R_G, and The Devastation Corporation. The purpose of this massive match is no doubt to quell any further dispute over who should have those title belts around their waists, or over their shoulders. So we began contemplating...

What if Moustache Mountain were to show up in Philadelphia with our 3 golden coins? Our stake in this fight is every bit as valid as that of Blaster McMassive and Flex Rumblecrunch. Furthermore, on 23rd July, we defeated the last team to legitimately hold those titles - Race Jaxon and Hype Rockwell. The Devastation Corporation can't make such a claim. CHIKARA, Trent and myself have made it clear that we don't want to wait around any longer, and any longer we will not wait. On 21st August in Philadelphia, prepare to find Moustache Mountain at your gate. We'll see to it that any and all disputes over who the rightful champions are settled in the middle of the ring....and you might even see us walk away with the titles. *Moustache twiddle*.

-TB