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Blog: Princess KimberLee (7.6.16)

Posted: July 06, 2016
Princess KimberLee

Let me start by thanking you all for your support during my reign as CHIKARA Grand Champion. It was an amazing honor to have made history and shared that experience with you all.

Now an opportunity to claim another crown, King of Trios winner, lay before me. This time, the odds of being the first female winner are not in my favor. There are more talented women in this year’s tournament than ever before. That includes my best friend, Heidi Lovelace. But the Princess Who Saves Herself isn’t treating any competitor differently than the next. Male or female, they’re all dangerous, accomplished fighters. A battle like this requires the most unrelenting allies.

Not only have I accepted ThunderFrog’s invitation to join his team, but he’s chivalrously given me the noble task of choosing our third member. The criteria from the Thunder Gods being very specific. As much as it pains us, ThunderFrog dared not risk the wrath of his lords.

Of course we both instantly thought of Jervis Cottonbelly. Sadly, as honest and true as Jervie is - he’s just not royalty. And frankly, with all due respect to past partners (like Los Ice Creams, for example) this conflict is going to require some heavier artillery. We need the fierce, and the fearless.

So the popular choice would seem to be Eddie Kingston. The War King, Mad King, King of Diamonds, call him what you will. After teaming together in Birmingham, Kingston showed that he fought only for himself. At "Tightrope," his inability to control his rage cost him not just a match, but his points. At King of Trios, a mistake like that can be fatal.

Granted, this leaves few options.

Let it also be known: Jakob Hammermeier is a false and self-proclaimed king and therefore disqualified. As if I would please, Jakob, stop. I have since blocked your mobile device number. Don’t make me contact the authorities.

After long meditation, I believe I know the king who would fit our Warriors Three. A vi-king: Oleg the Usurper. There is no one else I’ve shared the ring with who hits with the strength of an ogre. Oleg and I have stood back-to-back, swords in hand. He has proven his nobility to me in battle, despite his dark past. The king of vikings will make a formidable partner, and he's a more loyal ally than Eddie Kingston could ever be. The Usurper served the Arcane Horde well and has come a long way from his barbaric origins. Everyone deserves a second chance.

Onward to victory!

- PK

Blog: Jakob Hammermeier (6.30.16)

Posted: June 30, 2016

You just couldn't help yourself, could you Eddie?

Is there a more quintessential Eddie Kingston move than to not only sabotage your chance to cash in your own three points, but to actually get suspended as well? Bravo. Striking the harmless referee whom you refused to listen to during your most recent temper tantrum at Tightrope. Attacking an official. You've surely outdone yourself this time, Eddie. You throw those things away, why? Because I won't turn around and look at your stupid face? I'm not here to play Simon Says, I'm here to rule MY kingdom...CHIKARA.

Gee golly, good thing you taught me that lesson Eddie. My knuckles are still aching from pulverizing the once Great War King's not so royal jaw....again.....for the fourth time (if you're keeping count at home.)

All teasing aside, you really have taught me quite a bit. You have shown me time and time again how a King should NEVER behave. A mistake that I'll be more than happy to rectify on both of our behalves.

Despite the modicum of bias I may or may not have against the former War King, I take a great amount of pity to see someone who used to be so great, continue to fall from grace. It's a real shame. Real shame. Once, you were not just a threat, you were THE threat at CHIKARA. But no more.

Enjoy your time off Eddie. Maybe you should use this absolutely necessary punishment as an opportunity to reflect on yourself and grow both as a man, and as a warrior.



- JH

Blog: Mike Quackenbush (6.5.16)

Posted: June 05, 2016

There have been very few matches in CHIKARA history conducted with the stipulation "No Disqualification" - but maybe not for the reasons you might expect. The truth about these matches is, it can be very difficult to get the result you want.

Finding two wrestlers that both consign themselves to what a "No Disqualification" match includes is difficult. To put it in simple terms, you are putting your match in the geographic center of "Shenaniganville." No matter how intense a rivalry might be, this can be an unattractive option. You know you are opening yourself up for outside interference. You know you are opening yourself up for illegal tactics, like the use of a foreign object, for example. And the normal rules of the ring will not protect you. So, yes, maybe you have more at your disposal. More weapons to employ against your enemy. So too do they. And if what you're really chasing is your enemy's this the best route to that destination? Because no matter your strategy, your journey still starts in "Shenaniganville."

A match with the "No Disqualification" stipulation is a dangerous one, an unpredictable one. For every crafty idea you might think to employ, someone out there has conjured something even craftier. Even nastier. These types of matches can easily spiral out of control. Even under traditional rules, we saw (as recently as last month!) a referee get kicked right in the face. No matter how wild the action gets though, there must always be an arbiter. To count the pin, or acknowledge the submission, or in the event of a knockout, to just stop the match. Given the likelihood of a match like this, between two men like Mr. Touchdown and Juan Francisco de Coronado, getting a little on the crazy side, I have decided to appoint a special referee specifically for this contest. I am counting on you, Dasher Hatfield, to be the law in this relatively lawless match.