July 2018

Blog: Razerhawk (7.24.18)

Posted: July 24, 2018

I found out the same time you guys did.

Director of Fun Bryce Remsburg approved my request to fight Icarus at "Egg Monsters from Mars" right before I hit send on yet another e-mail to him. Then I was gonna send a DM. Then an IM. Then a text. I'd have paged him if he'd ever given me his beeper number. It's all I can think about.

There's still soot on the ceiling of the main hall on Level 1—remnants from the celebration I threw in honor of Danjerhawk winning the Young Lions Cup from Cameron Zagami a few weeks ago at "Clan Feuds." Danjer is fascinated by fire, and so I thought fireworks would be appropriate. (Note to self: Fireworks should always be set off outdoors.) Yes, there's still cleaning and maintenance to do around our Earth outpost; work that I'd normally have done by now. However, I've got a bit of an obsession at the moment.


We fought one-on-one over a year ago, and you beat me, fair and square. No distractions, no interference. You won. And ever since this most recent skirmish began, I've not been able to really get my talons on you. Danjer and I fought you and Travis at "Go Eat Worms!" and you managed to avoid most of my offense. When it was finally just you and me in the ring, face to face—just as I had you in my sights—Travis snatched that moment away. Then, at "Clan Feuds" you and I were in the ring together for 12 seconds—just enough time for you and Travis to double team me, while Bryce's back was turned.

You see, in these recent encounters, I've only ever gotten a small piece of you. A fragment. A portion. A sample. An iota. But that's not enough to satisfy me.

I don't want an iota, or a sample, or a portion, or a fragment—I don't want a PIECE!

I want ALL of what you will bring, and I will bring to you ALL of what I have to bring!


I want the guy who was Campeon de Parejas! I want the guy who won King of Trios! I want the guy who captured the Grand Championship!

I want the Worst in the World!

Maybe the upperclassmen are right—maybe I CAN'T beat you... but then again maybe I CAN... A lot has changed in the last year... I was a Young Lions Cup Champion. I helped end our feud with Hermit Crab and Cajun Crawdad. And when Sylverhawk was taken from us I became the leader of this galaxy's Xyberhawx2000 unit. It is said that with great power comes great responsibility. Well the reverse is also true. With great responsibility comes great power, and my responsibility this Saturday is to shut you up and shut you down.

This is for the good of the CHIKARA trainees, the good of the CHIKARA locker room, and the good of the CHIKARMY.