August 2018

Blog: Sonny Defarge (8.8.18)

Posted: August 08, 2018

To whom it may concern,

Mr. Crummels and myself made a clear declaration of intent from the moment we made our presence known in CHIKARA: be the most effective and prosperous legitimate businessmen to ever take part in professional wrestling. These intentions have never been altered and are more deliberate than ever. And yet, in spite of our unwavering dedication to our own success, the CHIKARMY, as well as members of the CHIKARA roster were surprised by our actions at Egg Monsters From Mars.

This, quite honestly, tickles me.

The fact that The Beast Warriors are taking our actions as personal attacks is even more humorous. We, as unbiased businessmen, share allegiance with none but our business partners. And some business partners simply have deeper pockets than others.

At this present moment The Beast Warriors, rather than reflecting on their present blessings, have chosen to reflect on past misfortunes. They now stand in the way of the future successes of Mr. Crummels and myself by opposing the two of us at Chikarasaurus Rex. In light of this Saturday's match, I must remind The Beast Warriors that the business in which we've invested ourselves, after all, is called: Professional Wrestling. It is not called "personal wrestling." To this end, no matter how big or strong they may be, the cunning, intelligence and wit of the Crummels and Defarge Business Empireā„¢ will surely lead us to victory. They insist on taking our actions as a personal attack? Then we have no choice now but to deliver to them a very professional beating.

(Legitimate Businessman Extraordinaire)