News and Updates

Max Smashmaster (10.6.16)

Posted: October 06, 2016

This is a warning to the sideshow freaks and band of misfit toys that CHIKARA shelters. This includes fans and wrestlers:
Bakabella and I are not here to play your dumb games, or involve ourselves in your horseplay. The fun and games are over, for everyone.

To KimberLee:
Now that I’m reinstated, I’m going to hurt as many people as I can until I get my hands on you. It started with Vlad, CHIKARA’s lowly, potbellied carnival barker. This weekend It was some one-legged girl dressed like an emotional support dog. How many more people will you allow me to hurt before you finally show up and fight, Kim? Oh by the way, How does it make you feel that 900 fans chanted “Welcome back” at me when I showed my face at King of Trios? What does that do to your psyche?

To the sheep:
In February, I rained punches down on the head of KimberLee to the point where she started screeching. These sounds that she made told me a lot of things, but one stood out more to me than any other. Just as you fans chant “She's a Wrestler”...and you are right; she is. That's all she is; a wrestler. KimberLee is not a fighter, she is not a monster; but I am. I’m not a creature under your bed, but I am a person who would break your fingers just to see the look on your face. KimberLee is just a wrestler, she has compassion. KimberLee would never intentionally hurt anyone. Do you see where I am going with this? KimberLee cannot beat me. Not in a fight, not in a wrestling match. Never. My livelihood was stolen from me after that day. Fired! For 9 months I have planned and plotted. Made secret rendezvous with Bakabella to discuss how we could manipulate everyone into getting me reinstated. Let’s just say, everything went exactly as planned. Oh and by the way, Thanks for the “Welcome Back” chants you naive little’ve given me an unexpected edge over KimberLee. You might as well have chanted “Please Beat Kim.”


Blog: Hallowicked (8.31.16)

Posted: August 31, 2016

As promised at No One's First, and You're Next, we disposed of the ragtag assembly that thought they could resist Nazmaldun's will. And yet I recall giving a clear warning to any that thought they would stand by The Colony in that fight. Do not think for even a second that the beating you suffered will be the extent of your penalty. The blasphemers Amasis, Pinkie Sanchez, Missile Assault Man and Artic rescue Ant. I mark each of you guilty of aiding and abetting The Colony and name you the enemies of Nazmaldun forevermore.

By the time this decree is published, Frightmare, The Spear of Nazmaldun and the newly appointed justice in this matter, will have already visited his wrath upon one of you that hides beneath the totem of the ant. No more will he vex us and no longer will he doubt the power and the glory of Nazmaldun.

As for you other cretinous insects, make your peace now, for it is only a matter of time before Frightmare comes to pay you a visit and removes you from the board like so many chess pieces. In that moment when Frightmare is striking down upon you with all the fury of our great master, I want you to realize that you were nothing more than pawns in a much larger game. I want you to understand that you were thrown to the wolves, unprepared for what you would face, for NOTHING.

Silver Ant, don't think your involvement in our match last Sunday went unnoticed. You were wise enough to keep yourself out of the fray directly, but some madness drove you to interject yourself and attempt to assail The Morning Star, Icarus. Nazmaldun is not done with you yet and as such has not given us permission to tear you limb from limb. Do not test our will in this. It would be in your own best interest to remain hidden away from our sight should such madness strike you in the future.


Blog: Fire Ant (8.19.16)

Posted: August 19, 2016

This Sunday, once again, I march into the Wrestle Factory, prepared for battle. I'll look across the ring and face an army of warriors loyal to Nazmaldun. I'll see former allies and familiar foes consumed by pure hatred. Their darkest traits cranked up to an unthinkable degree.

This army's goal will be simple: Extermination.

At that moment, when I'm staring into the darkness, I'll look to my left, and then to my right, and who will I see? I'm sure I'll see some familiar faces too.

I've fought many forces over the many years, doing what I can to defend CHIKARA. And the one thing I can always count on, is that my brothers will march right beside me. And this Sunday, even though I'm certain I will be marching with ants, that's all they will be. Just ants. Not my brothers. Not the Colony. Just a Lot of Ants.

I know all of you are reading this. I know Worker Ant recruited you. You need to know that I don't like this, and I don't trust you. But you must prove me wrong. Prove your worth. We don't have any other options.