Blog: Hallowicked (8.18.16)
Like weeds in an untended garden, the ranks of Nazmaldun's force run unchecked and are now in position to begin choking the life out of those that remain standing against us. We never dreamed it would be so easy, that we would be unopposed in building the fighting force that now threatens to dominate CHIKARA. What was done to stop us? They set the Grand Champion Princess KimberLee against me and she was dethroned by my own hand. They tried teaming her with Hedi Lovelace, a woman she can hardly stand next to in the ring without coming to blows. They struggled to bolster her ranks with N_R_G, men who are little more than strangers to her. They rallied the simpleton Ice Creams to her cause in a misguided attempt to correct course. They thought strengthening her with ranks with members of The Colony would finally stall us...and yet here we stand.
The weakness of their efforts have reaped the rotten fruits they sowed. We have grown powerful and terrible in the face of your ignorance. Each man Nazmaldun has bid I claim for his own, is one that I know well. Men I have fought with and ones I have raged against. The spear Frightmare is as unflinching in his dedication to our master as I am. The morning star Icarus has surpassed even my expectations for the joy he takes in savaging his opponents. The demonic twin scythes Kodama and Obariyon, and the poison-tipped bolt Kobald, have displayed an unequaled blood lust in the ring. Now at last we have the battering ram, Mark Angelosetti, in our grasp. With him we will smash through whatever defenses you mount, and burn to the ground all that you know and love. Yet still one piece of the arsenal remains unseen. Our secret weapon. One which no one could possibly account for and so will wreak utter havok when the hour is at hand.
Colony, this Sunday you seem dead set on being the next obstacle in our path. Do not bear the brunt of our horrible wrath with merely half of a team. Do not even attempt to find others foolish enough to stand with you. There is no one you can recruit that yet lives who can hope to stop us. If anyone reading this message harbors any notions of coming to the aid of the ants, be warned now - that this will be no wrestling match. It will be a slaughter. All Glory Nazmaldun.
-H
Blog: Tyler Bate (8.10.16)
Earlier this week, Trent Seven and myself were enjoying a freshly brewed cup of tea upon the mountain, and it was brought to our attention that on 21st August in Philadelphia, CHIKARA will be hosting themselves an event and Moustache Mountain just so happen to be free of duties on this very day. We also know that on this very day, that the disputed Campeonatos de Parejas will be determined in a bout between Los Ice Creams, N_R_G, and The Devastation Corporation. The purpose of this massive match is no doubt to quell any further dispute over who should have those title belts around their waists, or over their shoulders. So we began contemplating...
What if Moustache Mountain were to show up in Philadelphia with our 3 golden coins? Our stake in this fight is every bit as valid as that of Blaster McMassive and Flex Rumblecrunch. Furthermore, on 23rd July, we defeated the last team to legitimately hold those titles - Race Jaxon and Hype Rockwell. The Devastation Corporation can't make such a claim. CHIKARA, Trent and myself have made it clear that we don't want to wait around any longer, and any longer we will not wait. On 21st August in Philadelphia, prepare to find Moustache Mountain at your gate. We'll see to it that any and all disputes over who the rightful champions are settled in the middle of the ring....and you might even see us walk away with the titles. *Moustache twiddle*.
-TB
Blog: Hype Rockwell (8.5.16)
Campeones de Parejas...that's what we've been able to call ourselves since we took down the mighty Devastation Corporation last year. It's been a heck of ride for N_R_G. This month marks our two year anniversary with CHIKARA. Our very first opponents? Los Ice Creams.
Both teams have come along way. It's seems like yesterday that I was driving us through the night to make towns so that "The Generator" and I could have the honor of walking to that ring, and doing what it is that we love to do. Only one problem, Race had all the energy in N_R_G, and me? Well I could barely keep my eyes open walking to the ring. Those were some tough days. Sleepless nights, too.
We beat the odds and challenged Max Smashmaster and Blaster McMassive in Cardiff, Wales...and almost came home with the gold. Although we came up short that night due to my condition, we pressed on. We started over and with the right liquid motivation, we started to click. We started to fire on all cylinders. There was a renewed energy in us, and we couldn't be stopped. We had the fans of CHIKARA wondering just how far we'd go. It was at this very point, with all the stars aligned, completely energized, that we knocked the beasts from the mountaintop.
Fast forward to July, 2016. I was wide awake, watching my tag team partner in the window seat, snapping his fingers and slowly bobbing his head. The high-octane "Generator" was totally blissed out, and you'd never guess that we were hours away from the fight of our lives. That night, at Back in the Habit, we went nose to nose with one of the best tag teams in the world: Moustache Mountain. We saw what our next challengers will look like. Our focus was squarely on them, even amidst the chaos. And then, Los Ice Creams cashed in and took what was ours. It happened in the blink of an eye.
On August 21st...Race, we have an opportunity to set the record straight. We should have never had those belts taken from us. Taking nothing away from Los Ice Creams...they earned that immortality at "Top Banana." But what about our deeds, Race? Those titles represent what you and I have scratched for since "Moonraker"...no, since the days of Wrestling is Fun! Turn off that Rick Braun you've been chilling to, my friend. It's time to get fired up! Find the that annoying, spazzed-out "Generator" I've driven all these miles with, and let's go to work!
-HR