News and Updates

Blog: Proletariat Boar of Moldova (5.18.18)

Posted: May 18, 2018

On May 26th, at the Wrestle Factory, both Oleg and I have earned the opportunity to face the current Campeones de Parejas, Sloan Caprice and Rick Roland. While this bout is scheduled to be a non-title contest, the Beast Warriors are prepared to make the most of this opportunity against the reigning champs.

While the Beast Warriors have been impressive, our success has not come without failure. If Oleg and I would have won the 4-Corner Tag Match at the Infinite Gauntlet, our match with The Closers could be for those two shiny belts. Instead, The Beast Warriors were outnumbered by three other tag teams with more experience, three tag teams who came together to use their numbers to their advantage, three tag teams who proved on that day that Oleg and I are not yet better than the six of them united. As we brew in the frustration of losing a match with such heavy implications, the Beast Warriors are choosing the path of higher recovery. We learn from our inexperience and from our mistakes in previous challenges. As powerful and determined as we are, we are still a relatively new tag team.

At Aniversario, a new challenge awaits. A new challenge, not just for the Beast Warriors, but for The Closers as well. To this point, The Closers have been able to power their way through all of CHIKARA. The Closers have been able to defeat teams that are quicker than them. The Closers have been able to defeat teams with more experience as a unit. However, The Closers have never been challenged by a team that is just as large and powerful as they are.

On May 26th at the Wrestle Factory, a new challenge awaits The Closers. At Aniversario, the Beast Warriors will match The Closers in every physical metric. At Aniversario, the Beast Warriors will push the champions past their limits. At Aniversario, the Beast Warriors cannot leave the Wrestle Factory with the titles...but we will leave with the experience, intellect, and most importantly, a win over the men who call themselves Campeones.


Blog: Razerhawk (5.11.18)

Posted: May 11, 2018

It seems like ages ago—Sylverhawk & I were standing across the ring from Oceanea & Merlok, ready to do battle with them for what we thought would be the last time. How right we were, but for all the wrong reasons. Fast-forward three weeks and we'd undergone so many changes—Sylverhawk was sent back to Xybertron for repairs, Danjerhawk arrived from Xyberspace, and Nytehawk & I had been showing that we're more cohesive of a team than anyone would've thought.

But then this past weekend happened.

Nytehawk & I were nearly destroyed by the brute strength of The Closers—two men who've become more powerful, and more dangerous than they've ever been, especially since winning Los Campeonatos de Parejas. And later that night there was the upset... in what can only be described as "the flyest victory of the new millennium", Danjerhawk defied the odds and won the Infinite Gauntlet, earning himself a Golden Opportunity toward any championship of his choosing!

All this chaos in the X2K universe, and for some reason my mind keeps circling back to one word:


This is how Icarus described us after our bout with Oceanea & Merlok—me, as I writhed on the floor, having been driven headfirst into the ring apron, and Sylverhawk, as he lie twitching, unable to feel his legs after falling victim to the Tidal Wave and THREE disgusting Emerald Flowsions. For a while afterward, I blamed myself, but I eventually realized that this is exactly why we were sent here—we're here to risk our wellbeing for the security and safety of the entire universe. I can think of no greater duty, and I will gladly serve without regret.

And yet, Icarus calls us "soft," as if we've got warnings on us to "handle with care."

I take great issue with Icarus' comments. He wants to say we don't have intensity, or that we lack the "killer instinct" he wants to see. Well I think Goldilocks should take a look in the mirror. After all, he helped shape the new crop of Wrestle Factory graduates. If we're such a disappointment, what does that say about him, hmm?

What's that? No smart answer coming from under that mustache?

I've got four words for you: Blu-Ray to the floor. Yes, you read correctly.

At Keystone Championship Wrestling's "Crossing the Border" event last June, I wrestled Icarus and my career nearly came to an end. The entire match I managed to escape his famous Blu-Ray finisher, but after an exhaustive bout, I could no longer fight him off. We crashed into the bottom turnbuckle, but instead of being knocked out and thrown back into the center of the ring, we flew out of the ring and landed on the hardwood floor of the George Washington Carver Rec Center. You see, the ropes had come loose during the event and by the time our match had begun, it was too late to fix it. And I paid for it.

My left shoulder still doesn't work quite right, but do you hear me complain? Did I complain when Merlok threw me into steel chairs? Did Sylverhawk complain when Hermit Crab nearly broke his back? Did I complain when Hermit Crab dislocated my ribs with an apron powerbomb? Did I complain when I cracked my skull on the concrete floor of the Starworks Warehouse in Wolverhampton? Did Nytehawk complain when Merlok took him out of action in Connecticut? Nytehawk hasn't even complained about Sloan Caprice dropping him on his head and neck.

Is this less about true grit, and more about accolades? We have worked incredibly hard and sacrificed so much to be where we are, and we are very proud of our accomplishments. And yeah, we also understand that there's still much more we need to do, and every day is a step toward those goals. We're not resting on the laurels of past Young Lions Cup wins, or a current Golden Opportunity.

But to hear someone whom we admire tear us down for no good reason?

That ain't fly at all. CawCaw.


Blog: Sloan Caprice (4.19.18)

Posted: April 19, 2018

Make no mistake, I've always known, Rick Roland has always known, heck even the new boss knows that The Throwbacks are the biggest threats, and the biggest challenge since our rise to tag team dominance in CHIKARA began. In our family, respect is always paid after all business is concluded, so it's a little uncharacteristic that we, The Closers, can state for the record that we have the utmost respect for The Throwbacks. Mark, Dasher - you are both talented professional athletes. That’s something I personally never thought I’d say. I know Rick feels exactly the same.

However Talent recognizes Talent, Skill recognizes Skill, Power recognizes Power. Now on April 28th, we get to see if the respect we've paid you is earned, Throwbacks. This isn't some multi-team scramble or non-stop gauntlet match. It's one family against another. Best two out of three falls. As skilled as you might be, do you really think you can take away the thing we covet most? The Campeonatos de Parejas? Do you think you are tough enough to take those belts from around our waists? Because I happen to think tag teams don't come any tougher than The Closers.

This is our first title defense, and I'm betting it won't be our last. And as talented as you two are, I don't think anyone is betting on The Throwbacks this time around. You hit your stride as a team back in 2014. But since, it's been one failed attempt to win a belt after another. Come April 28th, there will be one more failed attempt to add to that list. Yes, you had quite the lucky streak to carry you through Tag World Grand Prix. Next Saturday, your luck runs out. It's not because you aren't experienced. It's not because you aren't talented. It's because Rick and I are just that much better.

Respectfully Yours,