News and Updates

Blog: Mr. Touchdown (11.30.15)

Posted: November 30, 2015

One thing that every wrestler here at CHIKARA wants to do is to leave a that no single member of the CHIKARMY will ever forget. Legacy. History. You realize we are talking about a kind of immortality, right?

I'm talking about creating moments that remain so vivid in your memory, you can rewind them in your mind and replay over and over again. Think about the prestige one has in victory versus the shame of defeat.

Sometimes your heroes are not what they're all cracked up to be. Dasher is a genuine person who always plays by the rules. He's a straight arrow in the ring, and out. If you're reading this, and Dasher is your hero, do not let my recent actions tarnish his credibility, nor his character. I on the other hand...I should not be looked up to. I am willing to cheat to get ahead. I have taken shortcuts in the past. I have done it again, during the "Challenge of the Immortals."

After Dasher lost in his title shot against Hallowicked, the whole team just sagged. I wanted to pick us back up. I wanted to give our team an edge. Get these super-talented people to believe in themselves again. I wanted us to have that moment. I wanted Dasher's Dugout to make history, to stake our claim at immortality. I wanted it so bad, I took a shortcut.

I want to apologize to Director of Fun Mike Quackenbush; this tournament was supposed to be about the spirit of competition. I want to apologize to the teams in the tournament who lost matches because of my actions and to the fans who witnessed my behavior. Most importantly, I need to apologize to Dasher Hatfield, the "Hatfield" family, and my Dugout Teammates. Guys, I'm sorry.

I'm willing to take responsibility for my actions and any consequences that may come along with them.

Blog: Snowflake (11.27.15)

Posted: November 27, 2015

{THE REPTILIAN HAS SPOKEN! My, my, Argus, you certainly are brave, aren’t you? What makes you think I would lower myself down to your level to even waste my time with you? AGAIN, for that matter??}

Please help me.

{It’s no wonder you’re frustrated. Look at where your snake has led you so far! You lost your little Challenge of the Immortals tourney that you were so boastful about being chosen for.}

Your voice... It’s the first human voice I’ve heard since September 28th, 2015.

{Meanwhile, every permutation of Snowflake & the Battleborn is one win away from number one contendership for the Campeonatos de Parejas.}

What day is it?

{At King of Trios, My Battleborn dominated former Tag Team Champions, Grand Champions, even the Bullet Club. What exactly did you do?}

What year is it?

{Oh right, you sparred with the snake before the event. He used you to prepare himself for greater things and to make himself look grand in front of our audience. He also made you look foolish.}

You heard me the other night. You spoke to me.

{I refuse to fight you again, Argus. You simply don’t deserve the collateral fame you’ll undoubtedly receive from a one on one match with me. Though we all know how desperately you need it.}

It’s so dark in here, Argus. I don’t know if my eyes are opened or closed.

{Speaking of collateral, I do enjoy a bit of collateral damage from time to time…}

You have to fight him.

{So I propose this: let’s do battle like hooligans instead. Let’s hurt each other. Let’s get some other people hurt. Let’s not make this about you and I. Let’s make it a family affair!}

He will lie to you.

{Bring your fellow reptilians, I’ll bring my Battleborn. By the time we’re done and your partners’ careers have been ended, you will realize, that like us, you too graduated into perpetual war…}

He will deceive you.

{You too were given a mask and fatigues that you didn't understand}

But he can be defeated.

You too... are Battleborn.}

Please help me. I don't want to be alone anymore.

Blog: Flex Rumblecrunch (11.13.15)

Posted: November 13, 2015

Challenge of the Immortals.

Think about that last word. IMMORTAL. In this life you live and you die but only great men achieve immortality. You devastate the opposition, become kings, and then become immortal. When you read those words, a certain group should come to mind.

That group most certainly is not Crown And Court. When you read the word "devastate", you don’t think of a princess. Two clowns walking with cone heads is certainly the last image you should conjure up when you read the word "kings". Crown And Court has quite literally stumbled their way into the finals of the #COTI15 tournament and now find themselves on a date with destiny. A chance to live forever.

The problem is, Crown And Court should NOT even be walking into the 2300 Arena at "Top Banana" with a chance to achieve greatness. They are only here as a result of dumb luck. They are only here because the team with the most points suddenly had an attack of conscience. Crown And Court haven’t earned it. The points they have acquired have come by way of pure fluke. Especially the one they got at “Justice is Blind”. You can't just fail your way into immortality. You need to step up and take it!

You need to devastate. You need to earn the right to be called "kings". Then you need to grab immortality by the throat and make it yours. The images you should be seeing now are the faces of Jaka, Max Smashmaster, Blaster McMassive and Flex Rumblecrunch. The Devastation Corporation have dominated the scene since Day One. We have devastated the competition and have earned the right to be called kings. The only thing left for us is immortality. You can bet every pay window from here to kingdom come that we are (sorry Princess) the only team in this entire round-robin that can do it! Crown And Court will simply die as mortals and be lost to the pages of history. That faint flicker of hope, that light at the end of the tunnel, is the raging inferno of the unbeatable Wrecking Crew that will engulf all those who stand before it on December 5th.