Blog: UltraMantis Black (10.19.15)
First and foremost, I would just like to extend my heartfelt appreciation to to all those who expressed concern about my recently sustained injuries, and subsequent withdrawal from in-ring competition. Although this turn of events has left me crestfallen, my priority now is ascendancy of my mighty stable of fighters, The Arcane Horde. To this end, I have thus far been successful in finding suitable ways for the Horde to fulfill the remainder of our obligations in the "Challenge of the Immortals" round-robin. But it seems I have run into a proverbial roadblock with The Wrecking Crew.
I initially proposed a simple challenge: Oleg vs. Rumblecrunch, one-on-one. But captain Max Smashmaster expressed little interest. Next, I offered my demons The Batiri vs. Max & Blaster in tag warfare. Again, you so incredulously declined. I made a third effort, this time a trios match - Oleg and The Batiri vs. Devastation Corporation, to be the final match between the Arcane Horde and Wrecking Crew for the Challenge of the Immortals. Once more you relented, saying that you and your ilk would only agree to an atomicos match - 4-on-4.
Now then Wrecking Crew, you know full well that, due largely to your actions at KOT15, specifically the ghastly assault by one Flex Rumblecrunch, that I am no longer fit for ring action. And therefore, due to the well documented rules of the COTI, the Arcane Horde is no longer able to field a full 4-person atomicos team. UNLESS, an exception can be made! And that is why I call on CHIKARA's dear Commissioner of Fun to make a one-night-only adjustment to those rules. In the truest and purest spirit of the COTI, allow me to find a suitable substitution to take my place in order to deliver this match on 7 November. I implore you to consider this viable option, Mr. Mike. Not simply for the benefit of myself and my noble compatriots, but for the fans. The CHIKARMY, as I believe you have affectionately dubbed them? For they, in my most humble opinion, are the true lifeblood of CHIKARA!
I eagerly await an answer to this most earnest request.
-UMB
Blog: Mike Quackenbush (8.5.15)
Over the years, CHIKARA has been involved with dozens of non-profit organizations, all over the United States. But our ties to the Children's Home of Easton go all the way back to Season One, our maiden voyage. It does my heart good to know that a box of donated DVDs made a difference to someone. If watching some of those led you down a path to professional wrestling, they more than served their purpose, Kevin.
I remember what it was like when pro-wrestling first captured my imagination. It was not enough for me to watch it on TV, or read magazines about it, or play wrestling video games. Suddenly, my school projects were about wrestling. I wanted to share my passion for it with anyone that would listen. I'd convince my friends to come down to the park after school and we'd imitate our favorites and wrestle around until one of us had to go home and try to explain away the grass stains on our pants. It brought us together. It gave us an outlet. I could express myself through wrestling in a way that nothing else allowed. I found such immense joy in professional wrestling that I knew I had to be a part of it somehow. As outlandish as that idea was, I could not let go of it. I did not know what I wanted to do at college, I did not know what career path I should take. But I knew for certain that I wanted to be part of professional wrestling.
I know this for certain as well: if I had not found my place in pro-wrestling, I would have been a failure. While that might have pleased my family members, and certainly a high school guidance counselor who shall remain nameless, it would have meant the art from which I derived such inspiration and joy would be lost to me. I would have failed my dream.
The connection I have with professional wrestling has defined my entire life now. Its power is as poignant today as it was to me on May 20, 1994. I've read your blog, and seen your interviews, and I've heard the things you say in the locker room. Even the little ways you pick at me, desperate for attention. Why else would you bother needling me in the middle of an AMA if not to say "Hey! Look at me over here," Kevin? Perhaps you need to reconnect with the positive power of professional wrestling. I was once that irritating, overzealous young man, who could not control the ways in which his passion for this artform was expressed. I wanted to be a part of it. I needed that chance.
Do not mistake my kindness for weakness, or ignorance. You talk about respect, and playing by the rules. You may have forgotten the sarcasm tags before submitting that blog of yours, because there's more than one insincere statement therein. But something you wrote resonated with me. Perhaps I hear the echo of a younger man that is making every mistake possible while clawing his way into the world of professional wrestling. The echo of someone who needs to belong. For the chance to connect that young man with the positive power of professional wrestling, even if it does seem a bit against my better judgment... You got this part right, Kevin: you can be better. Show me. Show us all. At King of Trios in September.
-MQ
Blog: Kevin Condron (8.3.15)
I assumed that by now I would've been granted a team for this year's King of Trios tournament. Perhaps it was wrong of me to assume that I would. I mean all season...my entire career I have been over-looked.
My peers at the Wrestle Factory deemed me too sensitive to make it. Even my GHM partners called me "snowflake" on occasion. I have never truly had the respect of our locker room. But when I win King of Trios...that's when everything will be different.
I've spent the majority of my life in group homes. I've never had a true, honest to goodness family. Those boxes of CHIKARA DVD's delivered to the Children's Home of Easton became the only family I ever knew.
Since then, every single mentor I've had here, has let me down. But now, I am the mentor. And my "Battleborn" are no longer your cannon fodder. We are no longer your expendable pawns. March us to the front lines and we will turn 180 degrees then fire on you.
I vow to win King of Trios not for vanity or for gold, but for the platform that it provides. Once I prove my team's worth at CHIKARA's largest event of all time, you will have no choice but to pay attention to me. Then, I will end the cycle of forgiveness that exists in the CHIKARAverse.
So Director Quackenbush, I urge you, let me, let us compete. Please. I respect you, I respect your rules and I always have. All we want is a fair shot like the rest of our peers. I know that we've had our differences and growing pains have really done a number on me, but I can be better, Director, I know I can.
Show the people that you respect healthy competition. Don't let the people say that "Mike Quackenbush held Kevin Condron back," prove them wrong, Director!
Sincerely and truly,
Kevin Michael Condron