Blog: Juan Francisco de Coronado (4.25.15)
My name is Juan Francisco de Coronado, and I am the team captain of The United Nations. The team that I, single-handedly, will bring to a golden opportunity and immortality. This "Challenge of the Immortals" tournament is not one that I will win with ease. In fact, there are some great obstacles in the way. This has been proven to me personally when my team was swept by the Battle Hive. The Battle Hive, which is led by their team captain, Amasis. This whole tournament aside, Amasis and I have a deep history. One I’m certain he has not forgotten either.
It goes back to a time when I was ruling over the Wrestling is Fun! roster. Our first encounter was a precursor of what our future would entail. I had just finished laying waste to a pirate-like vigilante, Jolly Roger. While I was making my glorious victory speech, Amasis jumped me from behind and forced me into a match which I was not prepared for. Amasis had been out with an injury and tried to make a statement at my expense. I can’t blame him, it’s a good day if you can defeat the finest export Ecuador has to offer. So there he was, taking advantage of an opportunity, handing me my first loss under the WiF! banner. I picked myself up off the mat and vowed to take revenge on the Funky Pharaoh. A few months later we met again, I refused to have a sneak attack be my undoing this time around. We were set to do battle and this time it was for all the potassium. This was finally going to be my crowning moment…
According to the record books, I was "defeated" by Amasis, yet again.
But to be fair, I did not get enough sleep the night before, I had jetlag, and I made the mistake of eating United Stations food for lunch. One year later, I'm back in the main event where I belong against the very man who had gotten the best of me twice before, Amasis. Once again, this match up would be for the ever-ripe banana! Amasis and I would trade hold for hold until one man was left standing. In Ecuador we have this ancient saying "the third time's the charm” and on this fateful night I would have my hand raised in victory. There I was celebrating, waving the Ecuadorian flag in one hand and the ever-ripe banana in the other. This truly had the makings of an Ecuadorian storybook ending.
Now Amasis has reared his ugly head again, so ugly, it must forever remain masked. He has taken away valuable points in this COTI tournament, and embarrassed me once again.
So Amasis I say this to you: you should have stayed out of my way. You have now placed yourself in the line of fire. In Ecuador, you are what we call a “dead man walking”! On May 2nd you and I are set to go one-on-one in Haverhill, Massachusetts and I hope you are coming prepared. This time it's not about the potassium. It's not about the COTI. It's about pride.
For Ecuador!
-JFDC
Blog: Race Jaxon (4.23.15)
SLEEP? WHO NEEDS SLEEP? N_R_G was so close, THIS CLOSE to becoming the NEW Campeones de Parejas in Cardiff! We were flying high, we had those big goofs struggling, we had them rocking and reeling. Like we rocked the Xtreme Force at "A New Start". Like we rocked Flying Francis on National Pro Wrestling Day.
But sometimes it's tough when I always feel like I'm in the drivers seat. Hype, I know you blamed the "jetlag", but I was on the same flight as you were! If you were well rested, there's no doubt N_R_G would be the new TAG TEAM TO BEAT in CHIKARA, we'd have those gold belts around our waists! Hype, we were there! We could see the finish line! It was our final lap! YO Hype YO, turned to NO Hype NO and our drive to greatness hit a wall. A very painful wall.
These tanks aren't empty, though. It's far from over, N_R_G still has a lot to prove, and three more points to get. I won't sleep until those belts are ours! I just hope Hype can wake up, and stay as amped for it as I am! No one man is going to capture the Campeonatos on his own. In the time since we landed back in the States we've been making town after town, dishing out Hyperwheels and megadoses of N_R_G! We even got to go to South of the Border! On a more serious note, Hype drifted off and lost his commemorative sombrero out the window, it's funny how sometimes apathy leads to loss.
Dev Corp: you're NOT unbeatable! We need to turn it up from 11 to 12, and I just need my partner as AMPED as I am right now, and we can't be run off the road. Time to floor that pedal all the way to that metal!
-RJ
Blog: Hallowicked (4.21.15)
Unlike so many others, I have never been one to spout on about manners of which I have no knowledge. So take heed when you read these words, they have been carefully chosen and are undeniable truths all.
By the will of Nazmaldun alone I am your CHIKARA Grand Champion. I have taken this title from Icarus, as commanded, and I shall hold it until such a time as the Lord of Rot wills it lost. I take no pleasure in being a champion to CHIKARA. My reward is in watching the discord it creates. In watching friendships torn asunder and watching others struggle to gain what I hold. I shall not be driven to madness as Eddie Kingston was, spurred by the hopeless strategy of being Champion for all time. I shall instead revel in the madness that grips those who seek to unseat me. I shall not brandish the belt to rally others under the banner of CHIKARA as Icarus did to vanquish Deucalion and his Flood of followers. I shall wield it as proof to non-believers that Nazmaldun shows favor to his disciples.
I have heard the whispers surrounding me. That I have been "corrupted." That I have lost my mind. That I worship at the feet of something otherworldly...something which does not exist. I assure you I am in full command of all my faculties. Yet my motives are still questioned. How can you deny the presence of Nazmaldun? He foretold I would be Grand Champion and here I stand. The Spear and The War Hammer have already been awakened to him. The Dagger will yet know the light of his being and then be plunged into the beating heart of our enemy. How long until the rest of these dogs accept the truth? He offers any who come willingly into the fold the chance to escape their doom. All who will forsake personal glory, bare his mark, and serve him need only surrender to us. This gift is alone not extended to UltraMantis Black however. His fate is sealed and there can be no repentance for him in the eyes of the Eater. Ultramantis, you exist now only to be tormented until your bitter end.
There will come a time when all the world is swallowed by Nazmaldun's wrath. It begins at CHIKARA. Here shall be the staging ground for his global army. This place has secrets yet to be revealed even to me, secrets which my master covets. Once CHIKARA has been blackened by his grasp, ONLY when every man and woman within its confines bears the 3 branches will my next command be known. For those who resist his immutable will, the savagery of our reprisal shall be legendary.
All Glory Nazmaldun.
-H