Blog: Kobald (11.13.17)
It’s me, your FAVORITE goblin, KOBALD! Since you BLOCKED me on just about every other type of communication, this is my only way of getting a message out to you.
Every waking moment since you FIXED me on May 6th of this year has been an absolute blast! Who knew all it would take to FIX me would be an act of pure, brutal strength combined with pinpoint accuracy & sincere selflessness? Oh, I know this one… It was ME! I knew it the whole time! I BEGGED you for months!! Even so, I am very appreciative of what you did for me & continue to do for me. For that, you are my IDOL! It’s not every day that you get to meet your idol, let alone TEAM WITH THEM! For me, the last 6 months have been a dream, but, for you, Oleg, the last 6 months haven’t been so kind. Looking back at the last several events, I believe the only match you won since you corrected my cranium was the match where you tagged with me in North Carolina at “The Parting of Ways” (Now available on CHIKARAPRO.COM!!!)
At first, I thought this losing streak of yours would make for a great story, a way to get the people behind us. Losing each & every singles match would bring you closer to me. BUT, BUT, BUT - here’s where it gets interesting - we would WIN every tag match together! You eventually see how successful you are with me by your side & we inevitably win 3 points & challenge Los Ice Creams for Los Campeonatos de Parejas. There’s no way we'd lose, THEY ARE THE STINKING ICE CREAMS! THEY ARE THE WORST TAG TEAM IN CHIKARA HISTORY!
I had it all planned out. After we win those tag belts, we hold & defend Los Campeonatos longer than any team ever. We hold onto those belts until CHIKARA gets bought out by Titan Sports in 2022. Our contracts carry over & we are heavily involved in an invasion angle that, overall, falls below expectations. After a few months of build, we are involved in a title unification match with the Young Bucks, Paul London & Spanky, and Super Dragon & Davey Richards…
*Webmaster's Note: I've cut about 12 pages of utter absurdity from this letter to conserve space and sanity.
…where we both get inducted into the Hall of Fame at Wrestlemelancholy 60 as the most decorated tag team in wrestling history!!!!!!!!!!!!
But now I see that your losing streak has gone on for too long. Things are not going according to plan. I have to be pretty upfront with you, Oleg. For all my plans to come true, something significant needs to change, & fast. I may be a bit UNCONVENTIONAL, but I am no idiot. It is YOU that has NOT been putting in 100% effort. I have already been part of an unsuccessful team. Remember The Batiri?? Sadly, I do as well. Not a single title or accolade in 7 years. I don’t have the patience to go through that level of disappointment again. There’s a reason why I am the last member of The Batiri & if you don’t want to end up like the other two, I suggest you try your best to STOP! LOSING! SO! MUCH!!!
Oleg, I will always be your biggest fan, but if you don’t pick up the slack, I may soon be the last fan you have left.
P.S. HOPE TO SEE YOU FOR THANKSGIVING! I WILL LEAVE THE SEAT AT THE END OF THE TABLE FOR YOU! HOPE YOU LIKE TOILET TURKEY!
Blog: Travis Huckabee (10.25.17)
It’s been a long two weeks for the Rumblebees. I've just recently recovered from my #HourOfPower match against Rory Gulak and despite her unwillingness to admit it, I know the same could be said for my partner Solo. She took a pounding at the hands of Sonny Defarge, but gave it her all, and even in defeat, can be proud of what she left in the ring. We've both needed this week to recover. And though we've enjoyed tag team success lately, we've had less luck individually. I am disappointed to have lost to Rory once again, and I’m disappointed to have been unable to help out my friend and fellow Rumblebee.
We're about to depart for Chicago, and we both have unique challenges ahead of us at the double-header on October 28th. Solo is set to rumble against perhaps the most accomplished graduate of the Wrestle Factory, Hallowicked, and I'll be against the midwestern up-and-comer, Everett Connors. Last time we were in Chicago, Swolo fought a bigger, stronger opponent and of course, she never backed down. Not even for a second. EC is as tough as they come but I've made my name as someone who will always endure. Everett Connors recently came close to capturing the Young Lions Cup - I can't say the same. And Hallowicked is the only 2-time Grand Champion in the history of CHIKARA. These are tall tasks awaiting us on Saturday in the Windy City, Solo. Don't let our recent defeats bog you down. We keep training, we keep improving, each and every day. People might think you don't stand a chance again Hallowicked. Then again, people didn't think we could ever capture Los Campeonatos, either.
Blog: Ophidian (10.18.17)
The path I am on is steady. Unwavering. My ultimate victory is growing ever closer as I continue to prove myself to be the superior Ophidian. Win the Rey de Voladores tournament? Check. I did so in less time than the inferior Ophidian.
Secure the Young Lions Cup? Done. An accolade he never earned. I took it with ease. Everything is exactly as I have planned.
Do you understand now? This power you have wasted for so long? Do you see now what could have been? Overtaking the mind of your opponent and controlling their every move. Two kinds of people I suppose. You were the first. I am the second. The type that makes people hurt each other. The type that makes people lose motor function, rendering their bodies useless. Look what I’ve accomplished as a result.
While your accomplishments now pale in comparison to my own, this whole time I’ve felt something has been… missing. It was only recently that I realized what I had left to do. What I needed to truly cement my victory. Los Campeonatos de Parejas. More importantly. The Osirian Portal. Your greatest failure will become my greatest achievement. It was your duty to protect him, and you failed with flying colors. What you let die last year, I will resurrect. On October 28th I turn back the clock on the Portal of Osiris - the very same thing that brought you CHIKARA - to December of last year. I’ll forge my path to greatness in the place of your darkest hour, and I’ll do it with the Pharaoh you failed for the last time.